It hit me hard on December 24
Found myself lying on the floor
The weight became to heavy
I can't take this anymore
I'm missing something tearing me apart
From the inside out I hate this part
Drown myself in wasted time
Drag to drag rendered sublime
The time spent drinking
The time spent thinking
Smoke away the thoughts of sinking
Drown myself contemplating
A sequence of events playing through my head
Drink away the pain of you until those thoughts are dead
Project my pain into this glass
There's no point living in the past
Take this drink and gulp it down
Tonight's the night I choose to drown
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Friday, September 16, 2011
Broken 12/16/2010
The air is chilling to the core, bitting at me like those three words that tore us apart, rattling my bones, shaking like that fateful night repeating itself again. December shouldnt feel this way. The coldness that you show is nearly unbearable, almost fatal at the lowest point of my existence, moving forward could never be so satisfying.
My breathe parts the air with its warmth pushing aside particles sustaining its shape. Nothing like the shape you left me in. A part of myself fleeing, same as you.
The smoke billows from my lungs from the cigarette i lit as a crutch in pursuit of freeing my mind of the thoughts of you, I quit.
December shouldnt feel this way no not like this. Remember everything that brought me to this point. Take a pen and document the struggle. Retrace the steps that got you here and replay the night you left. What am I becoming, what have I become?
Bring up the past like it was yesterday, the day you shared yourself with me for the first time. Remember it as though it was the last.
this was the first entry into my blackberry there may be ones before it but i will have to find them. hope you liked it.
My breathe parts the air with its warmth pushing aside particles sustaining its shape. Nothing like the shape you left me in. A part of myself fleeing, same as you.
The smoke billows from my lungs from the cigarette i lit as a crutch in pursuit of freeing my mind of the thoughts of you, I quit.
December shouldnt feel this way no not like this. Remember everything that brought me to this point. Take a pen and document the struggle. Retrace the steps that got you here and replay the night you left. What am I becoming, what have I become?
Bring up the past like it was yesterday, the day you shared yourself with me for the first time. Remember it as though it was the last.
this was the first entry into my blackberry there may be ones before it but i will have to find them. hope you liked it.
let me introduce myself
Hello. i dont want this to sound like some sort of a mission statement or anything, but it might end up that way. i decided to start this blog after someone hinted towards it at dinner one night. i have a lot of writting that ive done mostly poetry and stuff in regards to loss of love and overwhelming emotion. hence the title of my blog "a new motivation." i went through a rough time for about 8-9 months 4 of them being horrible and starting to get better now. i struggled with finding myself and what i wanted in life and how i was going to get out of the hole i was in. i will be posting a poem a day and hopefully by the end i will have some more happy things to right about. i will try to post them in order of dates they were written so you can see the way my mood and feelings had changed throughout the entire process. this is a little weird for me because only a few people have seen or heard the things ive written so be nice.
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